The Road Isn’t Always Easy

Be prepared for the not-so-nice side of advocating for equality.

I think this particular post may resonate with some more than others, and that all depends on where we each find ourselves in this journey towards equality. Where ever you find yourself, I hope that you find this helpful and eye opening.

I’m here to be honest with you and to let you know that the road to gender equality isn’t always an easy one. From my experience, this has been the rockiest journey that I’ve ever embarked on. Some of you come from traditions where gender equality in the church, home, and society was the norm. You have a difficult time imagining the set-up to be any different, because this has always been your normal. Some of you come from, or are currently in, backgrounds similar to mine. For my entire life, my church membership has been at a Southern Baptist church with a very complementarian leaning. At almost 24 years old, I still have never seen or heard a woman speak or preach from the church pulpit. I have only ever heard women speak and teach the Bible in conference settings or something similar.

Whether you have come out of a complementarian background and embraced gender equality, are still in the complementarian tradition and are here to engage and learn more about egalitarianism and biblical gender equality, or have been in the tradition of equality for quite some time; I hope that you find the following to be beneficial in understanding that this road will almost certainly not be an easy one. It may be easier for some than others, but I want you all to be prepared for the not-so-nice side of advocating for equality.

I came out of the complementarian tradition. The more I studied Scripture and examined the life of Jesus, I was led to embrace the theology of egalitarianism—the belief that men and women are equal in authority and leadership in the church, home, and society. When I became a vocal advocate for gender equality, the backlash began to come in full force.

  • I’ve been called a heretic.
  • I’ve been called a Jezebel.
  • I’ve been called a Satanist and a promoter of Satanism.
  • I’ve had strangers tell me that I’m not following the true God, rather, a false god inside of myself.
  • I’ve have strangers tell me that I haven’t actually experienced true salvation.
  • I’ve had a (now former) church friend tell me that I need to focus more on “finding a real relationship with Jesus” and less on “advocating my own agenda.”
  • I’ve been told that my ministry is not God ordained because it is “outright condemned in Scripture.”
  • I’ve been told that I need to set aside my “ego” and “humbly re-read the Bible for God’s instruction.”
  • I’ve been told that I’m “misguided and need to turn my eyes to the Lord’s Word; because my tradition is blinding me from the Bible, and I am in rebellion to the order God has placed on me. I am directly violating His Word.”
  • I’ve been told to “actually read the Bible for myself,” and that my stance is “not to further the Gospel but my own self-interest.”
  • I’ve been told that I’m only about promoting “my equality agenda” over promoting the Gospel.
  • I have an undergraduate degree in theology and some seminary schooling, yet my education is constantly attacked and degraded.
    • I have too much education.
    • I don’t have enough education.
    • I need to invest in a “real education.”
    • “Degrees don’t matter,” and just because I have a degree in the field doesn’t mean I have more knowledge on the subject than those who don’t.
  • I was told by a stranger that she would “love to be at my judgment day so that she could watch me argue with God.”
  • My home church (complementarian) of 23 years, asked me to leave due to my vocalization of gender equality.

Everything I have just listed was either said to me or written to me in response to my advocating for gender equality. I want you all to see this because, depending on the type of people you encounter who disagree with you, I want you to be prepared to encounter these kinds of situations. This is real.

I spend much of my life thinking about the gender equality issue, and sometimes I wonder if it is all just a waste of time and energy. Maybe it is, but I can’t seem to stop; because there are few things on earth which offend me more than the name of God being used to silence and oppress half of His human creation. I see too many women hurt, insulted, abused, and disrespected by complementarian theology to be able to turn away completely. So, instead, I pray that God will use me to help create change wherever I can. At times it can be frustrating to see how slowly things move forward, but for me, it is comforting and energizing to know there are other people fighting for women and their spiritual freedom.

Advocating isn’t always easy. Some people will try to hurt you and knock you down. Get back up and keep going. That’s what we have to do. If I knew this would be the result of my choice to become an egalitarian and advocate for gender equality, would I still choose to put myself in this battle? Yes. Yes, I would; because justice is not an issue with room for compromise.

Beyond an Agenda

I’m not a huge fan of the term “intersectional.” Instead, I prefer to think of the gospel and social justice as being so intertwined and interwoven that they become inseparable. We see this in the life of Jesus as He broke racial, gender, and socioeconomic barriers on a regular basis. Jesus made Himself available to minister to everyone and considered everyone worthy of possessing and sharing His gospel.

Consider the woman at the well. She not only was a woman, but a Samaritan woman. Jesus broke with traditional social etiquette by sharing the news of the Living Water with someone who was a gender and a race that He should have avoided. Because Jesus broke with tradition, the Samaritan woman went on to proclaim the Good News to her village; making her one of the first Christian evangelists. *GASP* So, that means that a woman was preaching the gospel to the women, children, and men of her village? Yes, Scripture would certainly make it seem that way.

Think also about the woman with the issue of blood. Through a crowd of people, she reached out and touched the hem of Jesus’ robe. Jesus should have been angry. By Jewish Law, being touched by an unclean person should have made Jesus unclean as well. Instead, Jesus turns around, asks who touched Him, and heals the woman out of her audacious faith. How awesome is it that the unclean came flocking to the One who was able to clean them up, unafraid that they could defile the Holy God in whom there was healing and cleansing!

To Jesus, equality was not an “agenda.” Equality is simply the way humanity is supposed to function. Thus, I take issue when someone accuses me of “promoting an agenda” over promoting the gospel; as if the two were mutually exclusive. It irks my nerves when people, particularly Christians, put the gospel on one end of a spectrum and social justice on the opposite end—ignoring the fact that the two were never meant to be separated, as evidenced by how Jesus lived out His life prior to going to the cross.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. –Micah 6:8

Should anyone ever accuse you, or the next time someone does accuse you, of promoting your feminist, women’s equality “agenda” over the gospel, I would advise you to ask that person if they would accuse Jesus of promoting an “agenda.” Jesus was in the business of raising women to the status and position that they were created to have—one of equality with their male counterparts. That’s no agenda. It’s a beautiful calling of restoration and redemption. Jesus has always been in the business of restoring and redeeming, and Christians should be first in line to emulate Jesus’ practices.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. –Proverbs 31:8-9